Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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