I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
