6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
is it fun? or sober?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
