Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
