I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
