Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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