Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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