Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
