my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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