you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
