i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
