allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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