His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
