And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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