I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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