So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
