The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
