my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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