More tranny stories later!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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