that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
