We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
