im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
3pm strippers are depressing
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm both gender and math confused
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
