so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
