And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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