I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
