how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
