HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
