Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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