Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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