Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Who died my cat blue again?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
