I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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