I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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