Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
