are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
