There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We need to get me chipped asap
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
