that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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