What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
