New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
