I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
