another moral hangover. fuck.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
