I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
