is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
