this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
