do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
