Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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