No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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