these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
did you just send me my own nude
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
