the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
