love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
