ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
