ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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