I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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