Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
