And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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